You're deprived of love, yet you long for it. You are trying to cope with a reality that you cannot control, yet you wish it were different.

Not because it's true, not because the voices are right, but because you can't reach your goal if you don't know it, and you don't appear to be finding an answer to what it all means.

In the end, something is missing and you can't find it.

something is gone.